Imagine that you are an Italian-American plumber with an exaggerated Brooklyn accent spending your days pulling things even bigger and more animated than your black, curlicued mustache out of the sewer (and eating some of the fungi for energy). Suddenly, you get a call from your carpenter cohort, who informs you that his pet gorilla has abducted his girlfriend (again) and asks you to retrieve her. Without wasting even a moment to comment on what a deadbeat boyfriend your buddy is, you set forth to rescue the unfortunately-named Peach from the clutches of an incredibly anthropomorphic ape. On your journey, you collect gold doubloons by thumping on crates, slay strange moving vegetables, and continue to eat fungi, some of which make you temporarily invulnerable to everything save death by falling. Eventually, you find Peach; and all’s well that ends well.

Girlfriend-abducting ape aside, the life of the popular video game character, Mario, probably bears little resemblance to your real life. In real life, you don’t get to eat unidentified [walking] mushrooms with impunity, rob Spanish treasure hoards, or spend even a few moments in reckless abandon without suffering at least a stubbed toe. Although the makers of the Mario games deserve credit for underlining the seriousness of slip and fall injuries, they seem not to have a healthy fear of anything else.

The Mario mindset does not belong anywhere in the physical realm; but one of the worst places to apply the reckless illogic of video games is on a bicycle. Bicycle accidents are problems that beset real people—more than half a million each year, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention—who require professional medical care for their injuries. While bicycling carries inherent risks due to the level of exposure that comes with it, many injuries can be prevented by a consciousness that you are not a wad of pixels that can be easily revived for another game, but a mortal, flesh-and-blood creature surrounded by larger vehicles and slipping hazards.

For those injuries that cannot be avoided with reasonable caution, a Salt Lake City bicycle accident attorney can help you pick up the pieces. Bicycle accident attorneys are not suppliers of magical mushrooms, but the added compensation that such an advocate can procure on your behalf is useful for funding whatever real treatment you need following your very real injury. For a consultation with a real bicycle accident attorney, call Christensen & Hymas at (801) 506-0800.

Too many bicyclists are injured each year because of simple foolhardiness—don’t make that mistake. That’s what the virtual world is for.